a new Christian dating practice?
I heard that a book on dating and courtship for Christians advocates that a guy interested in courting a girl should first meet up with the girl’s parents to seek their permission. When I heard that, I was dumbfounded. I try to imagine myself in the guy’s shoes. Gathering up courage to approach a young lady itself is a major feat. To ask their parents for permission? From where do I summon the courage to do that? And isn’t that premature? But assuming I do find the strength to do that, and mumble feebly my intentions to the parents, what will they think of me?
Now I put myself in the parents’ shoes and imagine what I will feel. I will think it odd but interesting that the guy would ask for my permission to court my daughter. I will feel respected or in some way acknowledged as having some kind of role or say in the process of courtship, or at least in its commencement. I will feel somewhat relieved or anxious as I get acquainted with the guy who plans to court my daughter. I will try to be objective, but half-suspect that subjective parental anxiety will interfere. Despite all this, I will probably not be able to say, “No, you are not allowed to do so because…..” or “Yes you may but send me a weekly report” but rather, “Thanks for letting me know. I’ll be praying for you guys.”
And when they have left, I’ll ask my wife: “What do you think of that guy?”
I wonder what the daughter will be feeling about this “asking for parent’s permission” bit.
What about you?
5 comments May 25th, 2008
