getting out of the education pressure cooker
Why can’t schools and parents let their children idle and rest and play during the school breaks?
This was what I was thinking about during the latter part of the mission exploration trip to Chiangmai. On Monday we met and talked to a lady and her primary five kid who were on an intentional bonding holiday. It was a great idea. She and her husband took turns to bond with their boy and girl respectively on these specially planned holidays. During the casual conversation we could sense some familial tension resulting from the stress and pressure cooker society that Singapore is. Both father and mother work long hours, and with tuition in Maths and Chinese and enrichment classes to the extent that parents have become chauffeurs driving their kids from one class or activity to another. The tension increases when kids don’t do well enough to produce the expected results. Parents want the results because in their minds the results are the guarantee of a better life for their kids. Its all about productivity and securing a bright future from the resources and effort put in. The result: more nagging and low self-esteem. Motherly nurture and relationships take a beating, and like the wounded man in the Jesus parable, the families have been crying out for help while government officials pass by without hearing or caring until the Good Samaritan in the form of Tharman Shamugaratnam the education minister passed by. But let’s not go there.
The common observation is that in educational concerns and behavior patterns, the Christian families are no different.
Are there solutions? Home schooling? Interestingly when I returned on Tuesday evening and read Sunday’s papers there was a report about a girl who is doing well in university despite being home-schooled. I think the people who dare to home-school usually do not have a choice; are usually well-educated or used to be in education service; or are aware of a home school support group they can be a part of. Its workable; it takes a lot of conviction; and its tremendously hard work; but equally rewarding and enriching. I, for one, dare not do it.
If we cannot resist by taking our kids out of the current school system, then perhaps we can resist it by the grace and wisdom of God. Here are some random ideas:
1. Do not take on enrichment classes your children are not interested in. Its good to expose our kids to music and the creative arts but we have to get to know what they are passionate about or interested in. If they are not keen, maybe its just not time. Why insist on JMC or piano classes? Hours and hours of insane practice and nagging the child to practice because we are paying so much and adding further strain to an already strained relationship and packed schedule!
2. Minimize tuition to those subjects in which your child is absolutely helpless and demoralized; which even with great self effort and some guidance, is insufficient to save the day. Most times a young boy just need a parent to sit beside him to encourage him to sit and work to develop the self-control over feelings that prefer play to books.
3. Resist the school system that seeks to bash a child’s self-esteem and force you into getting more tuition for your child by setting extremely high standards in their exams. Keep your cool and refuse to buckle. (In the first place make sure your child is in a school of an appropriate standard - don’t let himswim with the sharks if he is just a goldfish.)
4. Have a study sabbath scheduled into the child’s week. If we adults need a rest day where we don’t have to work, why not let children have one 24 hour stretch where they do not have to do any school-related work? I insisted on this in my family, to my boys’ delight. So on Sunday, no school work. I think they loved Sundays.
5. Let kids get involved in the work of the church. Kids pick up a lot of life skills at church. Skills and character traits that are equally or, I dare say more important than what you learn in school. You learn faith, hope and love: isn’t this what emotional quotient is all about? Faith, Hope and Love- the cardinal Christian virtues. The church is the premier institution, besides the family, that nurtures these traits.
6. Pray more and worry less.
7. Enjoy your kids and banish management by objectives in the home. Don’t always be talking about “Have you done your assignments? When are your exams?” and giving lectures on how a good education gives you a good life theme, and how hard you work so that they can have all those tuition classes and enrichment courses. Enjoy your kids, get to know them better than ever, and ask God for wisdom to discover the strengths and abilities which God has given them to be used for serving society and the kingdom. Encourage and guide them to develop those gifts and passions.
3 comments June 4th, 2008
