What did they see in me, a shy, reserved and insecure teenager? Why was I invited to share a message with the Jesus Youth Fellowship? I was merely a Pre-University 2 student at Swiss Cottage. I received Christ in a Saturday meeting, in the house of Brother Mathew. I was a fruit of the revival among students of Dunearn Secondary Technical School. A few months later, in June of 1973, I was baptised. About a year later, I was about to preach my first sermon.
I was a new believer, but the Spirit worked powerfully and deeply in my soul. Revival produces hungry believers. I was always longing for God, for his truth, for more of his presence. I was driven to prayer and devouring the Bible and Christian books.
Every night, with other believers of the revival, I would go to the hills of Hillview Estate, to pray. For an hour and a half, we would pray in tongues aloud, commune with God, and intercede for others. We prayed in the football field, in the park, by the street, and in the bin collection points of the landed housing estate.
I would read the Bible over and over, with a particular fondness for the New Testament over the Old. I loved the Bible. It was my favourite book. At first, it was the King James Version. It was in this version that I memorised many verses. Then it was the New American Standard Bible and the Living Bible. I bought many Bibles in the early years because I loved reading, holding, smelling, and the feel of different types of paper.
I loved reading Christian literature. I was hungry because I was struggling in my Christian life, and was searching for truth to set me on a path of peace and growth. During the first two years, I spent more time reading Christian books than my school textbooks. I was searching for a formula for the victorious Christian life. I envied others who seemed to have an assured and relaxed Christian walk. I was too harsh on myself and my failures to live out the ideals of the Christian life. Condemnation plagued me, and I swung between feeling not good enough and self-righteous.
Why was I invited to share in a youth meeting
Why was I invited to share the message at the youth meeting? Perhaps, they did not know of my inner struggle. I looked good outwardly. I attended every Saturday meeting, Thursday youth meeting, Sunday worship service and the Friday prayer meeting. I served in the church library and went out for personal evangelism every Saturday. I repented, confessed my sins, prayed and fasted often, and ticked all the boxes of a good, consistent Christian.
I did not ask this question at that time. I simply accepted the invitation and started to pray and prepare. At that time, I was reading about the call of Moses and his encounter with God through the burning bush in the desert (Exodus 3,4). It struck me that Moses refused God’s invitation to lead the people of Israel out of servitude in Egypt into the land God had promised to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. His excuses were: “I am a nobody”. “I don’t know who you are”. “I stutter”. As I studied and prayed, I came up with the message about Moses’ excuses, and how God was angry with him, and the assurance God gave him in Exodus 4:12, “Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.” The message came as rhema, and it burned like fire within.
The meeting was held at a terrace house along Hillcrest Road. It was the rented home of the Bromileys. The husband lectured at Singapore Bible College, and Mrs Bromiley hosted the meetings. There were about twenty to thirty students from different schools seated. I was nervous, but a fire was burning within. After the singing, I stood up, and the message went forth loud and clear with the force of a hammer. At the end of it, my body felt like a warm car hood, after the car had parked.
What God showed me
Later, Mrs Bromiley came to me and said, “Thank you for that message. I was invited to lead a ladies’ ministry, but I felt inadequate. What you shared today spoke directly to my situation. God spoke through you to me.” I was stunned, but pleased that God had used my sharing in that way.
Some weeks later, Mrs Bromiley introduced me to her theologian husband, because I had asked her a question, “Is the Spirit of God the same as the Spirit of Christ?” He answered the question and recommended I purchase a one-volume Bible commentary, IVP’s “New Bible Commentary”, which I promptly did.
My first attempt at preaching led to many more opportunities to preach in the other church meetings on Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays. I also taught a few Bible study courses. There was probably a recognition that I had a gift for explaining, making clear the meaning of scriptures, and applying them to daily life situations.
To this day, the promise God gave to Moses in Exodus 4:12 is my go-to “It is written” whenever I get anxious about a preaching engagement. I will say to myself, “I will be with your mouth, and teach you what to say.” When Sunday drew near, and I had no clarity about the message I would be preaching, I would tell myself those reassuring words. When I was nervous and in a different setting and congregation, I would calm myself with God’s promise. God has always been faithful in keeping his promise in my preaching ministry.