It was a cool evening. I was nervous as I approached her home in the now flattened Princess Elizabeth Estate. We were in the same home cell group that met in her house, and I was attracted to her. This was the night I had to express what I had been praying about for several months.
“Shall we go for a walk? I have something to share with you.”
We strolled up the steep slope of Jalan Batu Nilam. On my right were terrace houses along the road. I don’t remember what we talked about at the beginning of our walk, but I recall blurting out, “Will you be my wife?”
It was the first time we went for a walk alone. It wasn’t even the first date, and I had proposed to her! It must have shocked her, but I saw no sign of it. Rather, she calmly replied, “How can I be your wife when you do not know me?” I explained why I proposed.
I had noticed her in the cell group and was attracted to her. I had spent a long time praying about having a serious relationship with her, about whether she is the right person to share life with. When I was assured, I consulted Pastor Johney and his wife. Sister Johney was excited and encouraged it. Pastor Johney cautioned me about the commitment involved. This gave me the assurance to approach her. She took this all in and said, “It is okay, I know”. It seems she expected this. It was a yes, but she wanted a courtship period.
Later, I found out that the Lord had been preparing her heart. Several months before, she had a dream. In it, she saw a light zooming in, and an image of my face appeared. She awoke and thought, “What is this dream about?” She kept it to herself and prayed for confirmation, and God gave her a few.
On one occasion, I came looking for Simeon, her brother. She put down the newspapers and told me that he was not at home. She put up the newspaper, and the thought flashed into her mind, “That man will be your husband!” Her reaction was, “What? Husband? Am I so hard up? I am still young at 22”
Another time, during a church camp, while in corporate worship, she had a mental picture of herself with her future husband standing like a pastor at the church entrance, shaking hands with guests, “Thank you for coming”. She shrugged it off, considering it too high a calling, and she felt unqualified to be a pastor’s wife.
She had another dream of a marriage ceremony of a couple. She recognised that the lady’s wristwatch was the same as hers. She woke up from the dream, and the inner impression she received was, “Get ready”. Less than a month after this dream, I approached her and made that radical proposal.
Does this story seem like some fairy tale? It really happened to me. I am sure there are many unique ways people meet and marry. My home church at that time, with its strong Indian influence, disapproved the casual multiple dating prevalent in Western countries. Dating for social purposes was not encouraged. Serious dating and short courtship were preferred and recommended. That was the culture and values I was brought up with.
In both the Old and New Testaments, people were betrothed into marriage. That was how Mary married Joseph. In many countries, this remains the case.
In Western countries, it is through casual dating (often involving multiple partners) and courtship that wedding bells finally ring. Typically, this involved serial dating, rather than serious dating.
Then there is the introduction of possible matches by family and friends.
In recent years, I have heard of an increasing number of couples meeting through online dating apps. I am happy with the many successful matches. In the past, Christian outings and meetings were organised for singles from different denominations and churches, creating more opportunities from a larger pool for believers to meet others and hopefully find a match. Now, dating app technology has made it more accessible and efficient for all.
Whatever path is chosen, it is best to marry a person with the same faith and to make this serious decision in life with prayer and wise counsel. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5,6).
If you find this content helpful, follow me in my new WhatsApp channel: BLOGPASTOR or my Telegram channel: t.me/blogpastor. It will keep you informed of my latest post. Thank you for your support.
P.S. Today, 6th of December 2025, is my wedding anniversary. The Lord has blessed our marriage with his grace and provision. I am blessed to have Jenny as my wife. She has been a very supportive and godly wife and mother. My adult sons, daughter, daughters-in-law, and grandchildren (see photo above with my middle son absent) fill me with gratitude and joy. God had been faithful and wonderful to us.