I was one of scores of pastors who answered God’s call during or in the aftermath of the charismatic revival of 1972. I know of many pastors who became Christians or were revived during that awakening and then answered God’s call. The intensity of God’s love that was poured into our hearts compelled us with a holy desire to serve him in full-time pastoral ministry.
This happened to me. It was a period of intense, persistent seeking of God. I sought God in the Word, prayer and fasting, intercession and serving God in multiple ministries and outreach.
During my nightly hour of prayer, I would use the Lord’s prayer as a pattern. I had read Gordon Lindsay’s book on the Lord’s prayer and practised it diligently. When I reached “Thy will be done on earth as in heaven”, I would surrender my desires to God afresh each night. “Lord, I am willing to do whatever you want. Whatever vocation you lead me to, I am willing. I want to serve you in full-time ministry, but I am willing not to, if you have something else for me.” Unknown to me at that time, God was graciously bringing me to a place of holy indifference.
The revival of 1972 was so intense that my schoolwork suffered. I was not a good steward. But God was merciful, and by the skin of my teeth, I was offered a place in the National University of Singapore Arts and Social Science course. I remember examining the brochure for courses that would interest me. None of them did. I felt an unbearable deadening whenever I contemplated university courses. When I thought of serving God, it filled me with joy and enthusiasm. This was one of the indications that guided my decision to answer God’s call.
Another indicator was a prophetic vision during a church camp. A minister laid hands on me and said, “I see you carrying a cross in the midst of fire enveloping you”. I never knew the full implications of this vision, but I took it as another pointer of the direction my life should take.
However, circumstances had to line up. The church leadership, of which I was a part, had to approve of my entry into full-time church work. Pastor Johney advised me to secure some job experience because it would help me empathise with the church members’ daily challenges. Thus, I signed up with the Institute of Education to be a cadet teacher. It was a program in which you attended lectures in the morning, and went to schools to teach in the afternoon. I would have a meagre salary, but they covered the tuition fees.
Near the tail end of the diploma, the Lord kept speaking to me through scriptures about answering his call. Most of them were from the gospels of Mark and Luke concerning the teaching ministry of the Lord and its impact on his hearers. I felt I had to leave the cadet teaching program and enter the ministry. I expressed this desire to the leadership, and they decided to accept me into full-time church ministry.
My call to the ministry was not as spectacular as Moses burning bush, or Isaiah’s vision in the Temple, or Paul’s unforgettable encounter with the resurrected Christ. However, it is no less valid. That persistent desire, purified by countless prayers of surrender, was affirmed by prophetic vision, the witness of the Spirit and holy submission to the leadership. It was no sudden decision, but a prolonged process of discernment together with others.
Looking back from forty years of pastoral ministry, I realise how important it is to have a deep conviction of answering God’s call. How many times I thought of quitting when the going was tough, but it was this deep sense of call that preserved me and enabled me to remain faithful to God.
The way God leads us in our calling is unique to each individual. God knows each of us and how best to communicate with each one of his children. How did he call you, and how did you answer his call? Do share your experience in the comment box with the readers of this blog.
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