Lost shepherds in the city

Lost shepherds and waiting sheep

The Rt Revd Rennis Ponniah, the Vicar of St John’s-St. Margaret’s Church, and Assistant Bishop in the Diocese of Singapore, gave an insightful message to priests and ordinands recently that was excerpted in the Diocesan Rt Rev Rennis PonniahDigest(Nov 2010). He was reminding the church of what it meant to be an Anglican priest in the church of God –the classical role of Anglican priests. Over the years, this has been greatly eroded, obscured, obstructed, and pushed aside by the pressures arising from expectations of congregations for their priests to function like CEOs. The result: lost shepherds in the church, and the consequence – more lost sheep waiting in the pews for their shepherds to do what they are truly called to do, and other sheep leaving for other pastures. The irony is that members want their priest to act like a CEO so that the church would grow, but the outcomes are exactly the opposite: priests and lay leaders suffering burnout and members leaving because their soul care has been ignored.

Lost shepherds can find themselves

What he said so accurately reflects a clear and present danger in the other churches in Singapore too, not just the Anglican. The unbiblical expectations members have of their pastors to be like CEOs,  reminded me of what Goh Keng Swee and his team of systems engineers did to the Singapore education system in the 1970’s (they killed its soul, and teachers felt lost). What Rennis said would resonate with many pastors in this land. The same has already happened in urban churches in the United States too. Shepherds today, like the ones at Christmas, need a fresh and heavenly revelation of who God is. They need to eagerly seek the One in Whom they can find their true self and calling.  Here is an excerpt of his message:

So much is expected of the priest in the modern city – chairing meetings, organizing major projects, replying emails at the speed of smartphones and sometimes initiating financial ventures – that it becomes easy to lose our way and neglect the major tasks of our calling. The affirmation of men and meeting the expectations of our congregation for dynamic leadership and management can become our priorities instead of pleasing God through our faithfulness to our calling. As one of my clergy colleagues recently remarked, “If there is a parable to describe our modern situation, it may well be entitled the ‘Parable of the Lost Shepherd.’  The hundred sheep, safely in the fold, wait hungrily for their shepherd to find his way back to them.”

We do well therefore as priests to heed the call to vocational holiness – to being true to the central tasks of our calling. What then is our vocational calling as priests? In a word, I would say that our call is not to run an organization or meet people’s felt needs, but to build a community of disciples. I often have to remind myself, “I am not running a church, I am building a community.” With this in mind, the key vocational tasks of a priest can be identified as:

1.     Preaching / proclamation of the Gospel

2.     Discipling/teaching and equipping bands of people

3.     Interceding/shaping and leading corporate prayer and worship services

4.     Pastoral care and spiritual direction(ie the role of the “wise man” in the Old Covenant)

5.     Leading the people out in mission and community service

6.     Oversight of the flock and governance.

The greatest threat to fulfilling our vocational tasks is our management responsibilities in our urbanized parishes. I am not saying that management work is not needed in priestly leadership; however, they should not stand in the way of our primary tasks. This is clear in the early account of the early church where the apostles found themselves diverted from their vocational calling because they were personally managing the task of food distribution to the needy. They learnt to delegate this task to others in order that they may give their “attention to prayer and the ministry of the Word” (Acts 6:4). Sadly, priests today may be delegating away their primary vocational tasks, while focusing on secondary ones. We are farming out the task of pulpit preaching to frequently-invited guest speakers, and the task of intercession to church intercessors. We are called to “prayer and the ministry of the Word”. We are called to “attend to God” in prayer and the study of His Word, and then to minister to people out of the strength of His presence. Are we attending to the needs of men (emails and mobiles) but ignoring our Lord (eg. Prayers and devotions)?

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Growing beyond the tithe

Growing in prayer

We talk about growing and discipleship in many aspects of Christian growth. For instance, we talk about growing in prayer. A new believer is taught that prayer is talking to God, and he is taught how to bring his needs and requests before God. Then he learns that prayer is not meant to be a mere personal shopping list. He should also intercede and pray for others. Later he learns how to pray in a group and that required him to observe how others pray in a group and he stumbles and then perfects that. Later he learns that prayer is two-way, and that he needs to listen to God too. He learns the prayer of faith and on it goes. He keeps learning and progressing and advancing.

Growing in the Word

We also talk to new believers about the Bible. He first learn its black in colour with lots of “books” with strange names inside. He distinguishes between Old Testament and New, and soon prefers the new. He learns what are gospels and epistles and the difficult to understand Revelation. He is taught to read. He goes beyond reading to memorizing and meditating. Then he is introduced to Bible study. His knowledge of the Bible and how to understand, believe and apply it increases. He senses there is progression, movement. Even as he admits to being stuck somewhere, he presses on to grow in understanding and faith.

Growing in giving?

When it comes to giving, we hardly help new believers to grow in it. Is it too embarrassing to talk about? We let the pastor do it at the Christian living course or the Sunday sermon when funds is being raised. He is taught to give the tithe or whatever the church believes in; why he is to give offerings and how it is part of worship; how he will benefit and the church and the world will benefit. However we do not encourage a growth, a progression and movement in giving. Many believers are stuck in a rut: they are giving inconsistently, or not giving at all, or meandering at the tithe. They give their tithes regularly and routinely for the last decade and have remained in that status quo. Their expenses have increased. Their standard of living has increased. They have progressed in other areas of discipleship: in prayer, in faith in the Word, in witness, in discipling others, but somehow their giving pattern has not changed one iota except the amount increasing to reflect the increments in his earnings.

Aspects of growing

As their appreciation and gratitude for God’s unconditional love and grace increases, the overflow of grace in their lives will readily be expressed in growth in many areas including giving. Giving grows as believers appreciation and experience of God’s grace grows. Giving can grow in terms of amount or percentages (Yes, why stop at the tithe?). It can grow in terms of faithfulness and consistency; in terms of how giving is a part of worship and not just a routine; in terms of our openness to hearing what the Lord desires of our giving; in terms of the sacrifice or faith involved. These are different aspects of growth in giving. Movement and progress often will bring us to a greater realm of blessing, well being, character formation, faith and intimacy with the Lord. Growing in our giving (and beyond the tithe) is an outgrowth of experiencing God’s grace that necessitates a response of faith, adjustment and planning on our part.

A model of growth in giving

rickwarren-on-cover-of-timeAn excellent example of growth in giving is Pastor Rick Warren, the pastor of Saddleback Church, the 8th largest church in USA. Rick and Kay started tithing but sought to grow in giving by increasing the percentage by 0.5% or 1% every year till it became 30%. Then Rick became a New York Times bestselling author and his book “The Purpose Driven Life” became a runaway success which sold more than 30 million copies. Royalties from the book made them multimillionaires (if he got one dollar from each book, that would be 30 million dollars). He credits it to God fulfilling His promise to bless the giver and challenging him to a new level of stewardship. He and his wife made five decisions about their new found wealth:

1.They would not alter their lifestyle one bit. They would not buy a new home. They would not purchase a vacation home. They wouldn’t buy a Hummer, boat, or jet ski. They would keep their life exactly the same as it had been.

2.He would stop taking a salary from Saddleback Church. He now served as senior pastor for free.

3.He added up the salary from Saddleback for 25 years of ministry and paid it all back! Pastor Rick wanted to be above reproach so that he could tell the media that he worked for free and did not get rich from serving at a mega-church.

4.They set up three different foundations to help the poor and needy in the world.

5.They became reverse tithers. God brought them to the place in their lives where they were able to give away 90% and live on 10%.

This is what I call growth in giving. John Wesley would have been proud of Rick, though he’s not a Methodist.

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Diary of a silent retreat 4

Thursday, 18th November:

squirrel just a stone's throw away

Squirrels- bushy tailed ones. There seemed to be several families, including little tots, sliding, waltzing and jetting rapidly without brakes nor care from branch to branch and tree to tree. They were amazing to watch. I found it so relaxing to just sit at the balcony and be entertained by their delightful dances in the trees.
 

Today I looked through the whole gospel of Luke and picked up the emotions of Jesus. His frustration, anger, sadness, tears, sorrow, rejoicing, happiness, rebuke, and distress. I thought David told me to relax but he directed me to do something that required a few hours scan through the gospel.

Obedience yielded treasures,  I found out.

Friday, 19th November:

birthday energizersMy birthday. Fifty five, and since 5 is the number of grace, I am expecting grace upon grace this year. The church members quietly wished me well. There were eight from WRPF including Simon and Rinda.The Shins and the Chongs gave me some energizing stuff to make this day celebrated away from home a comfort and a wee special. Others, who found out later gave me some well wishes on notes and candy.

Entered into the gospel story of the man with the withered hand healed by Jesus in the synagogue on the Sabbath. Jesus was very angry. Englightening time.

sharper than a two edged sword- his word

As I celebrated the final communion, I enjoyed feeding on Christ – His body and blood. What a beautiful mystery – this fellowship meal with the Triune God.  Hidden nutrition.

Saturday, 20th November:

early morning meditation before silence is broken

a return to reckless childlike abandon and joybefore silence is broken

Six days of complete silence ceased at breakfast. I’ve been hearing mini-explosions from firecrackers fired two nights before a festival called Loi Krathrong. At breakfast, there were explosions of joy, and laughter and conversations. The retreat concluded with sessions where they summarized and shared and each one were prayed for in the afternoon.

After saying thanks and goodbye to David, my morning was spent going deeper into the story and exploring further what insights the Lord had for me from the story. By afternoon, I was done and concluded my retreat by myself in praise and song.

the men garlanded with the "fragrance of Christ" at bft

Jenny n Irene

retreat celebration at Tsunami

The evening was a celebration at Tsunami. The pastors were all honoured and well cared for with a Japanese meal. As we headed to the Night Bazaar, we found ourselves caught in this jam along the river.

sunny and annie

hot air lanterns launched

As it turned out, the local folks were celebrating Loi Krathrong, a festival where they released decorated boats or 4 feet tall lanterns with light into the river or sky, to symbolize the release of bad luck, sin, sorrow or wishes, prayers and dreams. Firecrackers exploded and the night sky occasionally lighted up with fireworks. Hundreds of lighted lanterns slowly and silently rising up, drifting with the winds and the lights disappearing from sight made the night festive and nostalgic.

I felt like a newly serviced car, a computer that just went through a lengthy de-fragmentation process. A lantern just lighted up. A heart of flesh. Freshened. Enlightened. Encouraged.

the retreatants and sds

(Standing: Francis, Lee Hong, Siew Gin, Kenny, Theresa, Lisa, Irene, Deena, Ethel, Simon. Stooping: Sunny, John, Lye, Bernie, Jenny, Annie, Wendy, Rinda.)

Further information about retreats of different kinds conducted by Simon and Rinda Tan are available through their ministry Listening Inn.

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Diary of a silent retreat 3

Monday, 15th November:

relax

It was the third day of the retreat. Enter the story, my director tells me. Experience the moment, the whole scene.

The passage he gave me was the wedding at Cana.

Tell Jesus how you are feeling and what you need and listen as he speaks in your imagination.

This Ignatian way of meditation took time. But it was worth it for the Spirit was free to inspire my often unused right-brain to yield insights and applications otherwise missed by normal left-brained, logical, rational interpretation.

Relax, he reminded me.

getting food at dining area

free seating, eat as much as you want

The silence at mealtimes seemed odd but I got used to it. We avoided eye contact. Eyes can talk too, as lovers and children know. We ate in silence, even if those who sat opposite or beside were friends.
Annie and Deena- gd friends, side by side

Never liked food for the masses. Especially hotel food in church camps. The Thai food here was mostly rice, vegetables with slivers of pork or chicken, and gourd (and good) soup, and the occasional spicy dish(we had chicken curry once). But no complaints from anyone, which was unusual for Singaporeans, even Christians. Maybe the enforced silence.. haha. For me, I was happy with the food. Slowed down, with no distracting talk, my senses, including taste, became sensitive.

Tuesday, 16th November:

chapel 2

Be gentle with yourself, was his mantra to me. Was I so harsh with myself, or was he just warning me in advance, knowing my tendencies to condemn or judge myself? Be gentle, he kept saying.

You are suffering from burn-out, he said.

This was after having heard me for a few days. He had thus joined a chorus of pastor friends who had sung the same song. Well, that was why I was there.

Do not make any major decisions until after you have taken your sabbatical. Certainly, don’t make any major decisions here.

Was that a relief for me to hear? Not really, I did not enter into retreat with any intention of praying about making any major decisions.

Just enjoy Me, the Lord had said to me the morning before I left, and I have stayed with that word, since day one of the retreat.

Wednesday, 17th November:

communion every evening

Holy Communion every night. Eucharist sounded better. It means “thanksgiving”. Our reasonable response to his gifts as a coupleof blood and body is, Thank you Lord.Yes Lord!

Tonight was special. The Lord whispered, Everything I have is yours. My faith was stirred and joy bubbled up in song within.

Learned to doodle (see right) with my Samsung Jet Dynamic Canvas, some sketch software in my mobile. Yep, I guess I just had to touch something electronic. No laptop, no TV, no newspaper, no radio here in the desert.

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Diary of a silent retreat 2

Saturday, 13th November:

The mornings and evenings were lovely and cool and the birds and squirrels always came alive with their song and dance routines. The afternoons were warm but not so humid.

DSCF0703

“Relax, do whatever relaxes and refreshes you. Don’t force the scripture passage to yield anything. Just relax”. This was the advice my spiritual director Fr David Towsend, SJ, kept repeating over the next few days. Yes, we Singaporeans are always in the productivity game. Since walking relaxes me I took several long walks….and jogs. The Chiang Mai University is a mammoth campus, as I found out, during these explorations.

retreatants minus three

The other retreatants were going through a whole morning and afternoon of talks. The  returning retreatants only needed to attend the morning sessions conducted by Simon and Rinda Tan. They each would meet with spiritual director Simon or Rinda daily for thirty or more minutes. Simon and Rinda were gracious to allow me to join the community as and when I wanted and to have the priest as my spiritual director. There were four pastors at the retreat(see pic below).

Simon, John, Kenny, Bernie, Rinda, Irene

Silence began at dinner time. It would continue for the next six days. It’s the spiritual equivalent of not opening the oven too often to see if the cake was baked. Sharing prematurely would dissipate the depth to which the Lord wanted to work with us on an issue.

Sunday, 14th November:

7 fountains sanctuary fills upAttended the Sunday morning mass. An hour and ten minutes. A liturgical service with scripture and sermonette interspersed with songs and climaxing with the Mass. Fr David Townsend spoke about why the Creeds were so important to the church and how it often required courage in the ancient days to recite them. There was certainly a price to pay for speaking the truth. John the Baptist knew that. When he saw Jesus he declared, Behold the Lamb of God, and straight away he lost two faithful members. Later he would lose his head, literally, again for speaking the truth. This business of truth speaking was serious stuff.

David had already given me a passage to meditate on and as it was Sunday, I did not meet with him.

Eucharist every Sunday

outdoor fellowship hall

you have to admire the attention the Catholics give to aesthetics!

Eat. Pray. Journal. Sleep. Getting into some kind of rhythm.

kenny at gazebo

siesta

They tell me reading biographies is sort of okay during a silent retreat, unlike reading books on spiritual stuff that might lead me on a detour from what God is saying or doing inside me. The same goes for MP3 messages. So I brought the Bishop's bookalong and finished “Born for Blessings” by Bishop Moses Tay. It was a straightforward account of his life and career as Bishop and then Archbishop. Was impressed that the Bishop, later Archbishop, was very committed to the Lord’s work in his youth and later as a general practitioner. He received his University of London theological education via correspondence and was ordained a priest while still in medical practice. Bi-vocational- this is something the church will see more of in the future, I believe! Anyway this book offers an insider’s view of what happened in the upper echelons of the Anglican communion during the denomination’s recent turmoils.

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