Why is Silence Essential in Prayer

Treasuring silence is one of hardest and oddest thing to do in modern urban society. But it is absolutely necessary if we care about our spirituality and growth in maturity. The spiritual discipline of silence is essential material for our formation into godly persons. In this discipline we shut our souls up from all kinds of sounds: whether they be noise, music, or conversation; and from the inner chatter that never ceases in our minds. We seek this stillness and quiet with the aim of giving our full attention to God. The practice of silence is a tough act but there are good reasons why it is golden for spiritual growth.

Why Silence Is Essential

First, silence helps us cultivate a disposition of openness to God – a disposition of listening. “So Eli told Samuel, “Go and lie down and if he calls you, say, ‘Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening’” (1Sam3:9). A rested body and soul seemed to be of help in receiving God’s communications, but more importantly, having a disposition that is ready to listen to God, open to whatever he shared. And if we are constantly talking TO God, we cannot be listening to him at the same time. We need to make a shift and listen more and talk less. The challenge to listening to God is that we often shelter too much inner noises of anxiety and turbulence and preferences that block us from noticing God’s notifications and invitations to us. 

Second, silence demonstrates a disciple’s trust and dependence on God. Rather than leaning on his own understanding to analyze and solve problems, or make a choice or plan, the disciple prefers to lean on and patiently wait for God’s wisdom and power to be shared. Rather than figuring a way out without any reference to God, the disciple discusses, listens and collaborates with the Lord in “osmotic prayer” – a process similar to osmosis where the Lord weaves in his wisdom and will into the disciple’s consciousness as a matter is discussed with God. “For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation” (Psalms 62:1,5).

Third, it reflects a beautiful posture of worship and reverence. “The Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth keep silence before him” (Hab 2:20). When a great and holy personage walks onto the stage, the only appropriate action is to stop whatever you have been doing, shut your mouth and open your eyes to see, and ears to listen attentively. Such a respectful response of silent attention to God is appropriate whenever we begin prayer too. Be silent before him.

Fourth, as our friendship with God grows more intimate it naturally gravitates towards more silence. Great intimates and lovers are known to communicate in silence. They understand the sounds of silence: expressions of love in the eyes or gentle touch, that look, the smile, the twinkle in the eye, the knowing nod, the kiss, the silent gaze. Someone described this form of prayer as: “I look at Him, and He looks at me”. Gazing at each other with love and in silence.

Fifth, when silence is coupled with solitude over a few days, it often yields the fruit of quiet reflection and meditation: a God given “know thyself” and the surfacing of past memories and emotions that had been repressed during your hurried and harried life. The Holy Spirit wants to help with the processing of these raw and painful materials so that the sting of these can be discerned and extricated, and forgiveness received and released, and the wounds healed and sealed. It was in “a sound of sheer silence”(1 Kings 19:12), not the earthquake, storm or fire, that the Lord revealed himself, surfacing his repressed indignation, disappointment with God, and fear. Having helped Elijah processed his repressed pain, God restored Elijah, and re-commissioned him.

Suggested Exercises for Silence

Set a timer to five minutes and gradually increase it to twenty minutes of silence. Sit comfortably in a relaxed posture. Breath in and out slowly and deeply and focus on our breath. This focus on our breath will help draw our attention away from outer and inner noise. It will help us be quiet before God.

Once you have done the above exercise, add this exercise to it. Imagine God the Father or the Son in front of you. Be conscious of his loving presence. He looks at you without condemnation, but with loving kindness and warm affection. No words: just gazing at each other with love.

Mother Teresa was once interviewed and what a memorable interview it was!

Interviewer: When you pray what do you say to God?

Teresa: I don’t talk, I simply listen.

Interviewer: Ah then, what is it that God says to you when you pray?

Teresa: He also doesn’t talk. He also simply listens.

Interviewer: (Long puzzled silence)

Teresa: “If you cannot understand the meaning of what I just said, I am sorry but there is no way I can explain it any better.”

Last exercise: Imagine you have an audience with God Almighty our heavenly Father, so take time to quietly reflect and note down what you are going to say to God, what petition you plan to present to God. Prepare yourself. When ready to meet with God, kneel before him, with your notes, and begin to reverently present your petitions to God carefully and reverently. “Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. To draw near to listen is better than to offer the sacrifice of fools, for they do not know that they are doing evil. Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few” (Eccl 5:1,2).

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Silence, solitude and prayer

This simple message was preached at New Horizon Church. It expresses my conviction about the great need for a more contemplative approach to prayer in the church. If we want to live a life that pleases God, we need to learn to silence the inner noise and listen to God. We need to learn spiritual discernment. This contemplative spirituality is akin to the old Pentecostal tradition of waiting on God. We Pentecostals should not be overly cautious about wading into the waters of contemplative spirituality.

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Making Progress in Stages of Prayer

How do we trace progress in our prayer relationship with God? An author by the name of Mark Thibodeux wrote about The Four Stages of Prayer that may give us a helpful framework to reflect on our personal answer to this question.

Firstly, talking at God. This is where all believers start their prayer life. It revolves around telling God our needs, problems, and desires. We even tell God how he can resolve them. At this level, God is nearly treated like an object, a gigantic prayer answering vending machine. Its a I-it kind of relationship if we go by Martin Buber’s categories. Sadly, many Christians stay at this stage and never move on, even after many years as a follower of Christ.

Talking to God as to a friend

The second stage is where we talk to God. At this stage prayer still revolves around words. The improvement is that we are more aware and conscious of God as a person, usually as a friend with whom we could share our needs, desires, thoughts and ideas, and what has been happening in our daily lives. There is a greater care to treat God as a person, a friend capable of and desirous of mutual love.

The third stage is where we learn to listen to God. This of course is a natural build up from stage two, for when you are conscious that God is a personal friend, you naturally wonder if this Friend has anything to share with you: his heart – thoughts, desires, emotions, goals. The main way of course is through meditation on the word of God. Taking passages and reading and reflecting on what God may be saying to us is listening to God. There are many other ways that God speaks to us too (creation, dreams, visions, objects, events, prophecy, signs)  and we should not limit what he chooses. However, the truths of the Bible is God’s main and sure way of sharing with us what is on his heart. Do not mistaken this for Bible study or exegesis and these are important, but what this is about is the experiential truth encounters with God in scripture meditation and prayer.

The final stage is being with God. This is where we go with God beyond communication to communion. This is similar to human relationships where through knowing a person more intimately there is no need to use words all the time to nurture the relationship. Presence and silence and keeping company would do. We may feel his awesome presence, his overwhelming love, or his compassion or power even though no words are exchanged and we are merely sitting with eyes closed and mouth shut in prayer. At this stage it does not mean you do not interact with God anymore with words. It is a build up of previous stages but each stage layer by layer becoming richer and richer, and deeper and deeper.

So once we know where we are, we can make it our desire and prayer to move to the next stage of prayer and intimacy. We can consciously seek to relate to God as a personal friend and share more of our life without always coming to him only when we need help. Or we may want to listen to God more attentively in prayer, meditation and all the other ways God speaks to us and learn to record what we heard in a notebook. For those who want to go even deeper they will find themselves brought to a place of helplessness and dependence – and usually silence and stillness. Better still, instead of having to go through a trial that brings you to such a place, cultivate times of stillness, silence and solitude with God. Learn to wait on God silently for 15 minutes and progress to longer periods of wordless intimacy.

What do you think of these four stages of prayer? Are they easy to relate to? Do you know of other frameworks of progression in prayer? Do share in the comment below.

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Beyond regular habits of prayer and Bible reading

QT

We are creatures of habit and this can be used to great advantage for the cultivation of a spiritual life. Regular habits of silence, solitude, examen, lectio divina and journaling have been established in my life over the last few years. This helps me greatly, but I want more.

More recently, I have been listening through the whole Bible online. I am now listening to audio readings of Exodus and Mark at the YouVersion Bible app. I am encouraged that it is more viable than I thought possible. Going through the Bible is a challenge for me. Now I have even gone through the complex book of Job which to me is quite an achievement. This helps me greatly but I want more.

There were several moments in recent weeks when I felt a holy discontent. Where it sprang from I cannot remember. They were invitations from a heavenly source. An invitation to go beyond routines and habits as important as these were. An invitation to love God with first love, with desire, passion, enthusiasm, and emotions. An invitation to love God with more than just my intellect and will.

We are to live out our spirituality by faith without depending heavily on our emotions. However, if will and mind set on following God can be accompanied by strong love and passion for my Lord in this long journey called life, why not? Having a love relationship devoid of emotions all my life is not my idea of a real relationship. God did not create emotions, desires and passions in me only to want it set aside when He relates to me. He wants my soul and desires to want Him and enthrone Him too.

I now pray more often for this grace: “Lord grant me a passionate love for You. I want to be able to love You with all my mind… AND emotions AND passion AND desires. Help me return to the first love.”

I know I cannot manufacture this. It’s not sustainable. It has to be a gift. A grace. So I ask in faith and wait patiently for Him to stir my affections as I seek Him during Lent.

Jesus said, “The first in importance is, ‘Listen, Israel: The Lord your God is one; so love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy.’ (Mark 12:29,30 The Message)

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Agape Methodist Church camp: walking the ancient paths of prayer

Agape Methodist Church wanted to introduce their members to the spiritual disciplines. Their ministry staff member Jeremiah Singh remembered how I introduced the lectio divina and examen to their church group two years earlier in another church camp. So they invited me to lead their retreat. When I met Rev Vincent Goh, and immediate kinship bound us as we were among a handful of pastors who have done the Ignatian 30 days silent retreat. We were on the same wavelength and talked the same language. We met for fellowship a few times before the actual church retreat from 11 June to 13 June in Pulai Springs Resort.

View from the hotel
View from the hotel

View from my room
View from my room

Meeting point at the church worship hall at Yung Ching
Meeting point at the church worship hall at Yung Ching

The meeting point was at Agape Methodist Church at Yuan Ching Road, formerly an NTUC Club building directly opposite the now defunct Tang Dynasty theme park. The church partnered with the Lakeside community services to lease the building and reach out to the surrounding households of the Jurong West area. The Chinese congregation and English congregation went together to Pulai Springs but each had different camp speakers and so did the children’s church.

Ice breakers that got Chinese and English congregations to mingle and play
Ice breakers that got Chinese and English congregations to mingle and play

Agape Methodist Church is a family church. The members were warm, friendly and easy going. I quickly felt at ease and relaxed with them. I enjoyed their fellowship and got to know people during the several meals we had together. Quite a number of the members were founder or pioneer members who were with the church from the beginning when it first started as a preaching point of Faith Methodist Church. One of the members that I renewed acquaintance with was Jason Foo, someone I knew from before, who still has fire in his heart for missions.

Singing to the Lord before the talks and practice sessions
Singing to the Lord before the talks and practice sessions

The hotel gave the church a hall that could seat 800
The hotel gave the church a hall that could seat 800

Rev Vincent doing holy communion at the last session
Rev Vincent doing holy communion at the last session

There were six talks with practice sessions or group sharing and prayer. I was pleasantly surprised that I had been thoroughly prepared for this camp. I must confess it had not been so at other times when I did camps for other churches. I was thus pleased with my sustained effort in preparations. The topics covered spiritual practices like slowing down, silence, lectio divina, and examen (the review of the day). The big picture topics covered the “Six stages of the life of faith” and “Journeying through the Wall.” I enjoyed doing all the talks and the practical sessions that followed. It was fun to facilitate these practical sessions and see people take to the different ancient paths of prayer. I could see that they too enjoyed trying out these “new” paths.

I told them many Christians are in a large stuffy room with numerous windows of prayer. But most have opened only a few of them: intercessory prayer, petition prayer. Naturally the room is stuffy. More windows of prayer need to be opened so that the wind of the Spirit can freshen up our stuffy church lives. I believe they understood this vivid image and began to open some of the other windows. They had a good introduction to the disciplines and I trust they will go on to incorporate some of these means of grace into their lives. I was pleased that the young people were eager and open to learning such ancient ways. The Lord bless and empower them.

It is really sad that though the Christian church was one church in the first thousand years and it had many good as well as bad traditions, but some of the good traditions (including these ancient ways of prayer) were rejected and thrown out the door together with the bad traditions by the Reformation.

I left the retreat tired from doing six sessions in a three days two nights camp but gratified that I have deposited something worthwhile that can be followed up on by the church members themselves with the continued support of the leaders. May Agape Methodist Church continue to be the friendly and compassionate church, and rooted in the rest and love of God.

J I Packer said, “It has often been said that Christianity in North America is 3,000 miles wide and half an inch deep.” It is the same with the Singapore church and we do need ancient paths of prayer (and persecution) to help us deepen our lives.  How wonderful it would be to do something similar for other church camps too.

Rev Vincent Goh (Ps in charge), myself, Rev Mee Hee, Jeremiah, and Stanley
Rev Vincent Goh (Ps in charge), myself, Rev Mee Hee, Jeremiah, and Stanley

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