Meditations – BLOGPASTOR

Category: Meditations

God’s Life Finds A Way

2 July 2022 blogpastor Leave a comment

Along the side of the pavement at Chinese Garden MRT I saw this slope of tiles leading to the grated drain. Along its joints and grout I saw fine and green grasses sprouting out towards the sky. It caught my attention for a while and I stood there to wonder what the Lord has for me there. Nothing came to mind. I then took a picture of it with the intention of going back to ponder over it. God speaks to us through so many ways and one of them is through what we see.

A week or two later, I looked at the image as I would look at a text, and let myself be drawn to a particular aspect of it, allowing what resonated to speak to me its message. I looked at different parts of the picture slowly and found myself drawn to the green, light grasses sprouting from the tightest of spaces. I thought about how God’s grace and life are somehow able to find a way to express itself through my life in spite of all my weakness and imperfections, and my inattentiveness to him. God’s life finds a way somehow. And I am most grateful for such expressions of his life through mine.

I was such a shy, reserved and insecure teenager when the Lord rescued me. He put his life in me when I repented and believed in Jesus Christ. How that seed, that life found a way to express itself through me in the tightest of spaces is amazing. I cannot even speak and am socially awkward and yet I was slowly transformed into a speaker, a teacher of God’s ways, able to share his word with audiences big or small. He has also transformed me and made me more socially confident and able to easily relate to and befriend others.

God’s life always finds a way – even with the imperfect, limited material he has to work with. God’s life in us finds a way to express itself through us. Even if the space is tight and limited and not ideal. We saints are cracked pottery and have lots of imperfections. We are also ordinary clay jars not expensive rare ceramic or jade. However, we hold or contain a priceless amazing treasure, the Spirit of Jesus, a gift from the Father above (2 Cor 4:7). He is God’s seed, life, power and presence in us. He works in us to refine and fill our character with more of Christ. He empowers us with spiritual gifts and enablements that enhances what we already possess by nature or nurture, or where none was present at all. These graces and gifts are the expressions of his life through our ordinary life. It is expressed through us for God’s glory and for the benefit and blessing of others with whom we share these gifts and graces. We certainly ought to thank God for these expressions of life, however little or flimsy they may seem. Stop berating ourself but learn to give glory to God for all the little steps forward and the progress made thus far. Then we shall see even more of his life expressed through us.

How has God’s life found expressions in your life? Feel free to give glory to God by sharing with us in the comment box.

Oh To Be Like A Dove

22 June 2022 blogpastor 1 Comment

With ease the dove nestles in the gap that she calls home. Home is simple, bare yet solid. Sometimes the rain flushes the floor clean. However, life has its headaches. The jarring screech that vibrates the home throughout the day ceases only after midnight, and then restarts at dawn. She gets used to it. Not her ideal home but it will have to do. She feels content with her current life circumstances.

Here she finds rest and safety.

She enjoys unblocked views of the Chinese Gardens. On Sundays, she loves watching the foreign workers playing a game of cricket in the vast green before her.

Though she lives from beak to stomach there is no lack.

Anytime, she is free to take flight into God’s vast world and feel the joy of fulfilling all that God has designed her to be and to do. She feels close to God when she uses all the gifts that God has given her: feathers and wings, lightness of body, natural navigation system, sight, and sensitivity to airflow and predators.

God has graced her with peace, goodness and abundance.

Like the dove, I am thankful that God has put me in a place of grace and peace, of freedom and sweetness, of contentment and fulfilment. The Lord is more than enough. The vista ahead is exciting. The simple life is simply life-giving and life-freeing.

“Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me. I said, “Oh, that I had the wings of a dove I would fly away and be at rest. I would flee far away and stay in the desert; I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm” (Psalm 45:5-8).

“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you have died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God” (Col 3:2,3).

Selah.

Psalm 88: The End Psalm

31 March 2021 blogpastor Leave a comment

Last Tuesday evening, my cousin went home to be with the Lord. She had fought a long-drawn battle with cancer for many years. Her treatment reached a stage where the Assisi Hospice at Thomson Road became the best place for her to spend the last weeks of her life.

I confess that I struggle to journey with people who are seriously ill or dying. I admire those who compassionately, patiently, faithfully journey with the dying. They suffer with the dying friend over every setback and regression, and rejoice with them over every step of progress and hope. They hold their hands, look at them in the eyes, listen to them, serve them gently and generously, act and speak kindly to them. I know everyone has limited strengths, but I cannot help but feel totally inept compared to these Mother Teresas. Most of the time, I feel helpless during a visit, and empty, worn and down after it. I sit, I listen, I hear stories and confessions, I serve the bread and wine, I sing, read scriptures, and pray, I leave, and I hope my presence somehow helped.

Kubler Ross observed five stages of loss among the dying: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I can recognize these stages in varying forms and expressions among those about to go home to God too. I do not try to control or fix them, but just notice them as they appear, disappear and re-appear as time went on till the sick persons come to a place where they are at peace and are willing, even wishing, to go to their loving God and Saviour as soon as possible.

Interestingly, during this period, I have come to Psalms 88 in my regular meditations. I felt drawn into its depths. It is such a sad, depressing, dark, heart-breaking psalm. I learned in seminary that such psalms are called “lament” psalms and served a liturgical and communal purpose for the Jews throughout history. I observed that this psalm does not have a hopeful ending to it unlike other such lament psalms. It is bereft of hope, except the address of the Lord as “God of my salvation”.

This psalm is of one who has suffered from his youth throughout his life and feels like one who is abandoned by God, shunned by friends and about to die. I wrote on my Bible the emotions present: despair, guilt, anger, trapped, despised, bargaining, bewildered, lonely, abandonment, assaulted, hopelessness. As I meditated on this psalm it dawned on me that some of these emotions may have been felt by my cousin as she laid in the hospice. These range of emotions would possibly be experienced by those suffering and waiting for death. The psalm gave a painful but real sense of one who felt close to death. As I look from outside at all the pain and tears and pleas in the psalm, it moved me to be keenly aware of my frailty, my hour.

The darkness and pain of this psalm was not relieved by the three prayers (ver 1,9,13) that prefaced the three sections. The black sheet can only be lifted by a knowledge that these psalmists do not have: the blessed revelation of what Jesus death and resurrection accomplished for us who live under the new covenant. The curtains open to let in the Light that dispels all darkness and shadows, when we who know the grace of the Lord Jesus, affirm the great hope of a resurrection similar to that of our Lord who died and rose again. This hope alone can transfigure everything at any hospice and any deathbed.

Is the psalm 88 of any use then in this era of the new covenant? Yes it has its uses. For one it provides a contrasting background that highlights and demonstrates the complete and final victory of Good Friday and Easter over suffering and death. If there is no black night, we would never have been able to fully appreciate a beautiful dawn or sunny day!

I also feel the psalm can be a useful passage to pray with for people who are at the end stage of life. It will help them to express their struggles and longings, and to surface and process the authentic and real emotions and struggles they find difficult to label. It may trigger memories and emotions that the person can then reflect upon and talk with the Lord about. As this is done, ideally with a spiritual director, one can by God’s grace find a place of perfect peace, assurance and hope as he or she waits to be hugged and taken home by their heavenly Father.