Love anxieties: can we trust God

Love and marriage is one of the important issues of life that a person in his twenties and thirties are usually eager or anxious to settle. I use the word anxious because society and media has increased the pressure on the plain, the ordinary and the nerdy. It seems like the good looking, the intelligent, the highly qualified, the charming are the ones that are desirable and if you do not fall in those categories, good luck to you.

The pressure is greater for the Christian because they see the wisdom of marrying someone of the same faith, but this means the choices are already limited as only about 18% of the population in Singapore are Christians.  Added to this the fact that there are more Christian girls than guys in most churches and this decreases the odds of a successful pairing, that is, unless we put God in the picture.

The ten spies did not put God in the picture and saw giants and fortresses in Canaan.  Joshua and Caleb saw God and said the land can be taken, the giant soldiers and fortresses can be gobbled up. We need to put God in this pathetic, problematic picture of love anxieties. We need to trust God in prayer for a life partner.

Just as important, we need to realize that though having a life partner is important, it is not the most important thing in life. Jesus and Paul the two most impactful men in the New Testament were not married, but they were fulfilled and served God’s purpose well.

We are all created to serve His purposes and to glorify Him. This can be done in the married state or in the single state. The most important thing is that we serve His purposes in this life and for all eternity, and not whether you got married or not. We were created to glorify Him, and this may be better served in one state or the other. (1 Cor 7)

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Mid year reflection

lights to illuminate your path in the middle of the year
lights to illuminate your path in the middle of the year

The middle of a year is a good time to retreat and reflect. You can have a personal retreat in your bedroom, or in a public park or in a quiet place like a library. Some are able to do it in a café with the help of caffeine in the air.
If you have a journal, it’s a great help. Our memory fails us but a short note triggers fruitful paths of reflection. If you do not journal, just mentally look backwards from the most recent happenings to those at the the beginning of the year. Note down a list of blessings: events, people, experiences, learnings, and gifts you have received. List down all the ways God has used others to bless you, and used you to bless others. How has the joy, love and peace of God and other fruit of the Spirit been displayed in your life these few months?  As you roll back the curtains and count the blessings, some painful moments will surface too and should be noted in the margins.
When the list is done have some secret time with your heavenly Father. Thank him from your heart for each of the blessings one by one.  They reveal how real and active God has been in your life. Then tell him how you feel about those painful moments you have had, and wait in silence for his response. He may give you a word, an advice, an experience of assurance and comfort, or all you may have is silence and a strange peace and strength. Receive them in good faith.
With this done you will face the second half of the year free from unnecessary emotional baggage, and with a sense of assurance that the Lord will go ahead of you and be with you into the next half of the year.

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Fallen fathers: upheld by grace

father and childWe are all fallen fathers. There are no perfect fathers in case you think that there are. The fall has made sure of that. Every father has strengths and weaknesses. Often the immediate family members are most aware of these, especially the weaknesses.
The Bible has many examples of fallen fathers: from Adam to Abraham, from Jacob to Judah, from Samuel to Solomon, and not to forget that man after God’s heart, David. You would want to add your name in that list because it does look impressive, and you should, to be honest, because we too have our weaknesses as fathers.
The big difference for us who live in the new covenant is that there is hope for us. We have Christ who dwells in us to give us the hope of transformation and glory. We all with unveiled faces can behold and contemplate the Lord’s glory in His finished work. And the Spirit promises us He will do a work of transformation for those who have faith and patience. We will be transformed into Christ’s likeness from one degree of glory to another (2 Corinthians 3:18). We will be better fathers as we grow in grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.
This transformation is a long process. In the midst of that process there will be many shortcomings, failures and lapses. However, we can be comforted that God’s grace is there to provide forgiveness and can redeem the consequences of our poor parenting, imperfect example, and bad decisions.  He can work all things for His good and His glory (Romans 9.28, 29).
It’s good to be a Christian father because we can look to a heavenly Father to help us.

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